“Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.”
Sometimes people come to therapy looking for a sanitization—a kind of purification—that removes all the scars and bruises that come from living in this world.
People come to therapy and show me their wounds—the scar that makes it hard to be in relationship, the bruise that cries out to be numbed by alcohol, or maybe a broken spirit that has trouble getting out of bed each morning. Many clients express a desire for the problem to be removed, never to be thought of again. And I understand that desire. I have felt it myself. Together my clients and I work to alleviate the pain and find healing. But the scars of life remain. In one of life’s many ironic twists, it is these very scars that make us who we are, imperfect yet beautiful in the whole.
When the psychological wounds of life are carefully cleaned, dressed and tended to, healing is possible. And when we get to the place where we can look back safely, we see that our psychological wounds make us who we are and even make us beautiful. We learn to appreciate that our dark days of depression taught us how to take tender care of ourselves. Or we realize that the deep wound of some horrific, traumatic event is the very fire that fuels our over-achieving, wildly successful career. And we use the fear of repeating the mistakes of our own parents to drive us to not repeat them with our own children. True healing occurs when we embrace our scars and accept who we are, our imperfectly beautiful selves.
- What wounds do you carry?
- What scars makes your imperfectly beautiful?
- What scars make those whom you love beautiful?